Dosa dan belas kasihan Allah.

Pernah jugak la tersentak bila dengar orang cakap kalau dosa ni berbau, kita ni mesti busuk. 

Aku suka bila dapat tahu yang Allah itu Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim. Bukanlah nak encourage pemikiran yang akan cenderung orang lain untuk sentiasa buat dosa. Aku cuma nak tekankan yang mercy Allah tu besar. 

Kadang-kadang tu mesti ada lah antara kita yang tertanya-tanya. "Aku ni asyik buat dosa je. Terampun ke dosa yang kerap aku buat ni?". Biasa lah, kita mungkir janji. Berpaling pada ajaran yang kita dah tahu. Sengaja ke tak sengaja ke. Esok tekad taknak buat tapi buat jugak. Benda tu perkara biasa. Buat dosa, mintak ampun. Buat dosa, mintak ampun lagi. Buat dosa lagi, mintak ampun yang dah ke berapa kali.

Gelaran "Maha Pengampun" tu bagi aku sangat besar. Ibarat Islam tu tak kasi kau peluang kedua, tak kasi kau peluang ketiga. Tapi, Dia kasi kita beratus-ratus kali peluang untuk kita perbaiki diri kita ni. Sebab bagi aku setiap apa yang kita buat ni perlukan keredhaan. Kalau Allah tak redha tu, ada la yang kita langgar mana-mana benda, masuk mana-mana simpang yang tak elok. Kita semua bukan bersifat maksum. Dosa besar pun buat, dosa kecil jangan cakap lah. Dok kumpul tak habis-habis sampai boleh jadi dosa besar. 

Apa kata kalau kita cuba jangan limitkan belas kasihan Allah? Jangan kita nak rasa diri kita ni atau orang lain terlalu berdosa seakan Allah tu bukan Maha Pengampun. Kalau kita rasa berdosa, cari belas kasihanNya. Kalau orang lain rasa berdosa, tunjukkan dia ke arah belas kasihanNya. 

Don't try to limit the mercy of Allah. Remember this, Allah's mercy is bigger than our sins! We usually start everything in our daily lives with this kalimah "Bismillahirrahmanirrahim" (in the Name of Allah, Most Gracious and Most Merciful). It's also mentioned in the Quran that His mercy supersedes His wrath/anger.

Apa yang hebatnya lah kan aku rasa, kita ni buat dosa seakan Allah tak nampak apa yang kita buat tapi Dia maafkan kita seakan Dia tak nampak apa yang kita lakukan. Aku rasa benda ni boleh la kalau aku nak rasa yang tanpa cinta Dia, kita ni ibarat macam layang-layang terputus tali.

Pointnya, pengampunan dan belas kasihan Allah sentiasa ada untuk hambaNya yang berdosa selagi pintu taubat masih terbuka luas. InshaaAllah..

"My Mercy embraces all things" (Quran 7:156)

Surat Buat AK

Salam.

Alhamdulillah, I have gone for a long time now since my last post. Since my absolute long absence from blogging world, many fondest times and memories I have had, those that I will forever treasure and be grateful for. The most treasured one is of course, the day that I got married (haha screw those people who think that I'd never get married).

Long story short, I am so excited to announce that we're pregnant! We are so blessed to have been given this rezqi so early at this stage of our marriage. Till this day I stay speechless thinking how I got to marry my university sweetheart and planted the first seed to our family. I am truly blessed! Allah outdid Himself when He gave me my wife and now my first child. I couldn't be more thankful! 

Surat buat AK.

Dear AK, please know that you have your dad and mom here waiting patiently to meet you. Parents that will always love you, and a dad that will annoy you for the rest of your life. 

We struggled a lot. Your mom decided to quit her job, and again, Allah helped dad with a huge amount of increment. We're beyond grateful how things are going these past few months. 

It still feels surreal that we will be joining parenthood next year (parents out there, any parenting hacks are welcomed, haha). Many emotions of happiness running through us. And most importantly, we get to be doing this with each other's side. We can't wait to start this new adventure with you. 

Today, you are entering the third and final trimester. We are beyond grateful and blessed to know that we are chosen to be your parents. I know there's no blueprint to parenthood but we promise you we will give everyting we've got and do the best we can to help you navigate through life.

Speaking about your mom, the bump as you're getting bigger and healthier. Mom is positively enjoying and embracing all the beautiful changes to her body that come with this new journey. Your mom does an amazing job. She's phenomenal! I promise you will love her as much as I do. 

Please stay healthy, child! It is just 12 weeks more. We love you and can't wait to meet you. Xx

WE'RE SO READY!

- Daddy, 16th Dec 2019

P/s: ibu is preparing dinner. I swear I helped a bit 🤭😂

Drafted Post v1: Reuniting w Irfan Roslee

Drafted Post v1: Reuniting with Irfan Roslee after a few years of absence from my extremely good life.

*posting entries in my draft folder* 

"Assalamualaikum

First entry of 2015, yay!

It really has been one year. But it doesn't matter anyway cause I am not a famous blogger. You know, it takes a lot of time updating a blog. See, it literally took me a year.

June, the 5th month of internship. I don't want to talk about this. Internship is just amazing to say the least! 

I received text messages from my long lost friend and we decided to meet one another after a few years of disappearance. We've gone through some stuffs which I'm not particularly proud of. I know those things are a part of growing up process and that's perfectly fine for me. I have missed him, no BS! Last few years, he was one of my best friends. He really helped me in everything, he supported everything I decided to do. He was no judge. Those things made me feel extremely comfortable to befriend with him. He was also one of the guys, those who were important to me.

A month ago, we planned to meet. I was afraid at first because I haven't met him in 3 years. Afraid is really not a suitable word so I would say nervous. I was so nervous because things may not work like they used to 3 years ago. We were really close, everything we did was parallel since the first time I knew him in 2006. I knew the best of him and what I did, he did the same thing too! Like, I used to imagine I performed in front of the crowd whenever I listened to a song and he did that too! Hahaha.. And even when we met last month, we were talking about this and we both laughed our asses off.

I was getting nervous for no reason. He hasn't changed a bit. It amazed me greatly when we could laugh and talk in no time. What can I say about him is that he is real, he is being himself. It is good for us though, because he did say to me on several occasions that I was his best friend before this. I felt the same way too but biasalah dulu too young too dumb to realize! Hahahaha. And even now I still consider him my best friend. I do not know what about him but I get comfortable easily when we hang out."

I didn't get to finish this post but I do have one of my entries which I believe to be almost exactly the same like this. Alhamdulilllah, Irfan kembali sudah dipangkuanku. Xoxo

Rahmat, 3/12/2019.

Struggling Muslim?

How do you make yourself a better Muslim?

I have read a tweet from this fellow friend of mine, saying that one of his friends pointed out that he’s doing great in life and so. With all of the things that he has, how is his relationship with Allah? That’s kind of a slap in his face because he knew that this whole thing about relationship with Allah is the one that seems to be lacking.

It took me a moment to read the replies to his tweet. I was quite befuddled. 

But, sure thing that there are ways for us to fix our relationship with God. What if I say that I’m feeling my faith is extremely tested right now? I’m not like Rahmat I was a few years ago.

As this fellow’s current state, I would like to foreground that friends play an important role in shaping faith and strengthen our bond with Allah.

I’m 26 now, and I apologise if my friends ever read this but I don’t have any friends at all that ever come to me and exhort, point out all the wrongs that I did on daily basis. 

I have become recklessly thoughtless. I did and said things without thinking like a Muslim. To be honest, I have had enough of using this whole “I’m a struggling Muslim” as an excuse, trying to get some of green lights as a pass for me to still commit sins. 

Listen, guys. If you have friends in your life that remind you to get close to Allah, consider yourself lucky. Very lucky..

Because I fought alone, and I may have failed. 

But, I won’t stop, because Allah says in the Quran..

“My mercy is bigger than your sins”

19/03, 2:30 am.

Biarlah Jadi Rahsia Aku dan Allah

 What I can tell you guys is there are a few of my good friends were approaching me last week asking for prayers on behalf. I have always liked the idea how you really want something out of life and find your closest friends to help you out. You believe in the power of Allah, you know He is going to make it easy and provide a way out for you. But, you need other individuals to make a doa for you as well. People that you can trust and that you know will try their best to help you out. I call it double effort! :D

I was approached by 2 of my buddies a couple of days ago. One, asking for doa and advises on relationship. Another one, asking for doa in need to strengthen his iman.

I never failed to make doas for many of my closest friends to the extent I realise that I forgot about my own family. If they came to the point in a conversation where they said “Mat, nanti kau solat. Doakan pasal aku jugak”

I was like, “Wallahi, nama kau selalu aku sebut dalam doa aku”

Boys, in the name of Allah. You don’t have to ask me to make a doa for you. If you had shared you problems with me, I feel obligated to make one for you. That’s just me. 

I wish I could just tell you guys “Bro, chill. I had and will always pray for you”

And don’t tell me prayers didn’t work. Let me share with you a story. One of the mentioned boys above texted me and asked about Solat Dhuha and I shared everything that I know about the prayer. I started to ask him what is it about this that you really wanted to know about Dhuha? Then, we got to discuss our shortcomings about the importance of Salah.

I know him so well! We grew up together, we literally spent most of our youth time hanging out, playing together. We did come to a point when things were difficult for us to grasp. We had our own easy and hard time to embrace life, we didn’t even cross paths for years to be completely honest.

We decided to meet after almost 3 years. Alhamdulillah, there’s nothing bigger than His blessing. The crazy thing about it is we clicked! It felt like it was yesterday since the last time we ever bumped into each other. 

Since it’s been awhile, of course some changes of the way he reacted I started to notice. You know, what he used to do, what he never did, or what he did when I was away from his life. 

But, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. We’re all adults now. 

Honest to Allah, aku berdoa. And I’d always pray to Allah so that you would perform your prayers. When he asked me “Kau nanti solat, doakan untuk aku sekali, Mat”. 

It took me a few minutes to reply. I wanted to say to him that “Yes, I mention your name whenever I make a doa after salah so that you perform your prayers”

But, I don’t want to. I’m afraid it will lose its meaning. Allah listens to my prayers and for that, it has become one of the biggest blessings I have ever gotten in mu life.  

I thank Allah for this. Don’t tell me prayers didn’t work. It’s just a matter of time that He sends His revelation and mercy to His servants. 

Biarlah jadi rahsia aku dengan Allah.

Seoul, South Korea (03/09/17-09/09/17) - Full Itinerary & Bajet

Many have requested full itinerary untuk travel solo aku ke Seoul. If you guys have questions about the accomodation, total expenses etc, I will just include everything here. Aku stay in Itaewon and for Muslims, this is a decent place because it's located near to the Seoul Central Mosque it’s easy and convenient to find halal food. Since, I was going alone so aku rasa it’s better to just share a room with another 8 guys. I chose Itaewon Inn as my stay because it’s quite near to the mosque so that easy untuk perform prayers and it’s cheap too! :P

Kat bawah ni, aku share main attractions/places dengan bajet that I spent for the whole week.

Ahad – 03 September 2017
Check in @ Itaewon Inn for 7d6n - 74,000 Won (~RM275)
T Money Card (Subway) – 30,000 Won
Dinner – 18,000 Won
Indo Mee (10 packets) – 5,000 Won

Isnin – 04 September 2017
1. Gyeongbokgung Palace:
Entrance: 3,000 Won
Hours: 9 am – 6 pm from Wednesday – Monday, closed on Tuesdays
How to get there: Take the Subway to Gyeongbokgung Station and Exit #5.

2. Bukchon Hanok Village
Entrance: Free
Hours: Anywhere from 10 am until about 6 pm
How to get there: You can either walk from the palace or take the subway to Anguk Station and Exit #1 or #2 – then walk 5 minutes north.

Other expenses:
Sebiji epal merah – 1,200 Won
Turkish Kebab – 7,900 Won

Selasa – 05 September 2017
Korea Everland Theme Park (the largest theme park in Korea with over 40 rides and attractions)
Entrance: 34,000 Won (~RM130)
Hours: 10 am – 9 pm
How to get there: Take the Subway to Gangnam Station and Exit #6 or #7. Walk straight and find the bus station in the middle of the road that has number 5002, take the bus 5002 to Jondae Everland Station and take a free shuttle bus to Everland.

I’d suggest that you buy the ticket online as it’s cheaper because if you decide to buy it at Everland Theme Park, it will cost you around 54,000 Won (~RM200)
Here’s the link to buy it online https://www.kkday.com/en/product/2914
One of the most popular rides at Everland is T Express, the third tallest roller coaster in the world with speed 104km/h. Kena cuba yang ni, sumpah best! Haha

Other Expense:
Turkish Kebab – 8,900 Won

Rabu – 06 September 2017
1. N Seoul Tower, Namsan Mountain (Famous to go to the tower and lock a padlock from the fence as a symbol of love)
Hours: 10 am – 10:30 pm
How to get there: Take the Subway to Myeongdong Station and Exit #1, walk straight up the hill around 10 minutes and find the cable car station.

2. Myeongdong Street
It’s a perfect time to spend your day in the evening after a trip to Namsan Tour because these two places are close to one another. If you love to shop, spending time in Myeongdong will be one of one of your favourite things to do in Seoul.
Entrance: Free
Hours: Many of the businesses are open from 11 am – 10 pm but things are most busy in the later afternoon and evening
How to get there: Take the Subway to Myeongdong Station.

Other Expenses:
Namsan Cable Car for return: 8,500 Won
Padlock & pen: 5,500 Won
Socks: 5,000 Won
Dinner: 11,000 Won
Turkish Icecream: 3,500 Won

Khamis – 07 September 2017
1. Nami Island (Winter Sonata, the 2002 Korean drama was filmed on Nami Island)
Hours: 7.30 am – 9.45 pm
How to get there: Take the Subway to Gapyeong Station, take the shuttle bus to Nami Island.

2. Ewha Womans University
Entrance: Free
Hours: Anytime
How to get there: Take the Subway to Ewha Womans University Station and Exit #3.

3. Hongdae Street Performance
Hongdae is brimming with the young, artistic, and creative who flock there because of the local art focused university, Hongik University. And what happens when a large concentration of talents get together? Well obviously street performances!
Entrance: Free, donations accepted!
Hours: Preferably in evening, Almost every night (year round), But Friday-Saturday nights are best!
How to get there: Take the Subway to Hongik University Station and Exit #8 or #9.

Other expenses:
Shuttle Bus to Nami Island – return: 6,000 Won (keep the ticket)
Ice-cream: 2,000 Won
Drink – milk: 1,300 Won
Dinner: 15,000 Won

Jumaat - 08 September 2017
1. Han/Hangang River
The Han River is one of Korea’s largest, and it goes right through the center of Seoul. You can walk along the river or rent a bike for 3,000 Won per hour (optional)

2. Cheonggyecheon Stream
Entrance: Free
Hours: Throughout the day
How to get there: You can walk there form a number of subway stations, it starts at City Hall Station

Other expenses:
Lunch: 10,000 Won
Dinner: 10,000 Won

Sabtu - 09 September 2017
Check out, take the Subway to Incheon Airport Station and go back home, Malaysia.

Overall budget: 
Around 255,000 Won – 260,000 Won
Malaysian Ringgit equals to RM950.00 (without return flight tickets)

I didn’t include the flight tickets because the price varies. If you could secure best price during promotion, it would be great. I bought the ticket on November 2016, it’s RM668 Air Asia return ticket which was quite a good deal! You can get cheaper than that, for sure!

I saved a lot jugak actually sebab masak je kat sana. Itaewon Inn tu ada tempat untuk masak so tak masak untuk breakfast, aku masak for dinner. Indo Mee jela pun sebab nak jimat kan? Hahaha. 

Here's the link to my facebook post for the video I made during my stay in Seoul.

Solo Trip: Seoul

Not Like Everyone Else

I regret the things that I'm not used to.

I don't know the reason why I'm not like everyone else. But, that's me. I don't feel sorry for the past incidents that have occured in my life. I did feel sort of regretting because they happened but there's nothing I can do now to back them up. 

Things I have missed out, things I have done, things I should have said  and things that I should have done.

I'm afraid to express my love for someone. I know I should have said it if the feelings are real. But, that's not me. And my heart keeps saying...

"...I wish you were not leaving because I love you.."

Funny how things work out now.

And I'm sorry if anyone ever wanted me to express things that they thought of deserving to hear. I never told anyone about this but there were times when I tried to be expressive about feelings and it turned me down real good. I got escalated very quickly and made a promise to never or be wary of what I'm about to tell how I'm feeling about them. You know, just to protect my heart as well as theirs.

I'm only highlighting about love because I know this is my greatest fear when it comes to involving feelings. 

It'd Kill

Have you ever felt like every thing that you do will never be enough to get recognition but when someone else does it, they get it just the way you do as well?

I know it's a long question but well. We all have gone through a phase when we wanted to be recognized, to be mentioned. Because we believe we deserved it more than any one else. 

Two important things, folks! Maybe what we did is never enough. We should penetrate situations and conditions deeper to be seen by the respective parties. You know boss, friends, lovers or whatever you want to get recognition or attention from. Or maybe, (just maybe) they never care about you. You are like disposal tissues, wipe and need to be thrown away immediately hahahaha. You need to evaluate where you stand.

Second, just don't think about pleasing people at all. You know if you have had it enough before this, why should you try even harder? You will end up feel the way you felt before. So, just stop. You're hurting yourself. You don't deserve that, no one in the world deserves that. You shouldn't feel sad for not getting recognition, you know. I can guarantee you that there are people out there who love you even if you're not pleasing them. 

Just stop! Stop hurting yourself, stop feeling bad for not trying hard. Stop pleasing people. Appreciate them, not please. They are two different things, bringing almost the same meaning. But, different. 

Talking from my experience? Yes, and it's still something that I'm struggling with. 

"Dah tu apa pasal nak nasihat orang?" Eh sebok la kaw! Blog aku, suka aku lah.

A Blessed Life

There are many things that I should be grateful to have these days. I keep looking up to my friends and say that they are so blessed with everything that Allah has showered, you know. But, one thing I failed to realize is that what I have gotten in life. I failed to realize what I have been through, what I have been given and what I have been blessed with.

One thing that I'm so grateful is that now I'm living a good life. I have always loved listening to working people saying " Mewah la gaji aku untuk orang bujang" when I was still a student. You know, how great it would be to have money. It's not only about the money that we have but the stability is what we need. I still remember it clearly, I once asked my lecturer about his pay and he said it is more than enough for a single to live a life.

Well, now I'm living it! And, it's totally worth the time I spent working as an accounts assistant and a part-time tutor that I could save hundreds per month.

#kiramewahlahuntukorangbujang

Lost Soul

May peace be upon you.

This is going to be a short update. Well, life is good, Alhamdulillah. I am so busy with life subhanallah, I can't complain, you know, with everything Allah has decreed for me.

First of all, I would like to say a few things so that you guys can get something from of what I am going to say. I have been pondering with many aspects of life these days. Some that gave me a real slap of reality I needed. I don't really know how to say this without trying to sound like I am judging our ummah but this is something that I learnt and thought of sharing with the people that I love the most and that's our ummah. I am not a good muslim, please don't judge me because if you really wanna know the beauty of Islam, learn the holy scripture, Quran and not its believers.

I really don't know how to say this but here we go. I am just a human who constantly makes mistakes eventho I sought refuge and forgiveness from Allah over and over again. Coming to the important part of this post, we don't have much power and hold to say that we are practicing Muslims if we get inspired by others but not Allah and our Prophet Muhammad SAW. I am not criticizing anyone as I clearly talk about myself, for me to realize and for you to think.

How many times do we get inspired by songs when Allah sends us the Quran? How many times do we thank our idols for showing the best of manners when Allah sends Prophet Muhammad as the best example for ummah and all humanity? How many times do we sing any songs in a day but we tend to forget to recite the Quran to save us from Jahannam? How many times do we thank the creation than its Creator? How many times do we text our friends to say hello but we forget to even remember our late relatives who had passed away, waiting for our "hello" by reciting Al-Fatihah.

Allahu, I can continue because I am currently contemplating with these sorts of things. We tend to overlook things which are far more important. I could say that we, Muslims always believe that people who don't have faith are programmed. Look at ourselves, and yes, we pray five-time a day but are we really satisfied with our prayers? Are you satisfied enough to make salah as the only entertainment in your life? Do you thank Allah for blessing you with a great state of mind?

Now, I will say a few things about me. Don't worry! I will talk about myself but please reflect if these are closely related with your life.

I pray 5-time a day. No intention to be riak or whatsoever, please get my point. Please.. But, I still listen to musics and get motivated and inspired by them. I still watch wrestling to entertain myself.

What entertains you more? Music or salah? What takes most of your time? Watching wrestling or salah? You see, this may sound harsh but whether you want to believe it or not, this is the system of Dajjal.

So, are we programmed too? I know you have the answer within yourself.

Sometimes, you feel like you want to return to your deen, you want to have the mercy of Allah, you just want to have faith in Allah for everything. But, you gotta try!

We are mukmins, we are believers, we believe in Allah and the messanger, Prophet Muhammad SAW. And Allah has put that fire inside of your heart that you wanna leave sin, you wanna return to Allah. Especially, when you are so depressed and you feel like you are gonna have no way out of your problems, you need to search deep within yourself and find that fire and light it. You need to understand that Allah blesses us with every single faculty that we need to endure pain, to succeed, to go away from shaytan and gives us guidance for strategy to live the way that pleases Him. Light that fire!

This world is not a game.

لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ فِي أَحْسَنِ تَقْوِيمٍ

(We have created humans in the best of forms)

#reminderforall
#wearenotperfect
#servantsofAllah

Employment :)

Hello there! XD 

Finally, I have been employed by a company. Yayy!

So, basically this is week number 2. I started working on Wednesday, 16th March 2016. Well, working is fine. The environment is so freaking fine! Hahaha. Actually, the reason why I am writing this entry is because I really want to share about my experience getting interviewed by a few of the companies that I applied through Jobstreet. Without a doubt, one of the things that I believe, grew me to be a little bit wiser. So, let's get it started, shall we?

I shall not mention any company's name. Yer lah takut tetiba unemployed pulak nanti lulz! But, I have pictures that I will be sharing soon so here comes the storyyyyyy.

I was scheduled to be on four different interviews in a week. Every thing was pretty messed up at first because I know that I have to dig what I really want to go after in life and then, these opportunities came along. I was feeling blessed to have had the chance to sit still and think deeply about which one should I pick out of these four places that I was offered its employment. Plus, having kind-hearted friends who constantly giving out their best thoughts and undivided attention in helping me making decisions. It was tough especially when these four places required me to commence immediately. 

I am not gonna lie but I kinda like an interview where there should be a necessary assessment before the interview session takes place. Simply like they are giving you a set of questions to be answered prior interview session. Like this one right here! :P

Aced it! I was offered with a 6-month employment contract as I would be assigned to deal with workloads and duties of a pregnant woman because she will be on her maternity leave. But, the bad news is that I had to reject this one! Harharhar but they are willing to pay big bucks though, the highest salary offered. I really like interviews, I do not know why. It is the only time when you will get to market and sell yourself. Give them reasons why they should hire you. I seriously do not like to be too formal, well-organized with interviews. For me, it is when you get to be yourself. You get to promote your skills without any impromptu "interview pack" starter. Do you get what I am saying? There are no lists of example of interview questions and their suggested answers, no preparation, you just go! I did not prepare anything, as a matter of fact, I did not prepare myself to answer any tests beforehand. But still, I slayed them all! Muahaha..

Nonetheless, I chose this one company and it is located at Axiata Tower, KL Sentral. 

I am probably gonna share about the environment in the office only. It is very different from what I have experienced during my stay at Khidmatax Consultant. Have you ever watched the movie "Internship"?. Yeah, sort of like that. My workplace is on level 18 (oh god, I have been dreaming this for years haha) and I am an accounts assistant. I do not think I want to explain further about my job scopes but in case you guys ever wonder about it and I know, you guys always do so, I provide you this.

            

Alright, now let's talk about the environment. I have mentioned previously about the movie, The Internship (Google interns not the old intern one). Every time you walk in the building, people often greet you with "Good Morning", "Hello", "Bye" just to name a few. It is so sweet at first but when it happens to have more than 10 people greeting, suddenly it becomes so awkward. I will have to put on a fake smile greeting them as well "Good Morning" until I reach at my work station hahaha. They are too friendly and I do not like friendly people. It is because when you decide to leave, you will have to consider their feelings because they are being too nice. I fail in dealing with my own emotional intelligence so maybe I will just be working here until the day I die. 

I really need to reconsider back what is the best for me. I know that I want to become a chartered accountant one day but working here, eventhough the environment is amazingly superb, I do not see me becoming an accountant in the future. I might end up becoming an accounts manager or senior executive and I know even to be a manager, it will take my time about 5-7 years. That is why I need to make decision as soon as possible because as far as my dream is concerned, working here would just not do it. I need more set of skills, chase better opportunities and look forward to prospering my accounting knowledge and other general familiarity in this field.  

I am not saying that working here has nothing to do with accounting treatments whatsoever. Even now I am learning and getting to learn new terms I have never heard before like managers' overrides (even til today I have no idea what the hell is overrides), released bond etc. And my job mainly deals with "for the week ended" financial period so every thing is in hurry. I can feel the pressure every week especially on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

I hardly think that I am going to take this job seriously. Every one has their own dreams that they want to chase after. But, this job is my first ever! I have to make a career out of this, make a living. I love every one in the office, I love Adam, he is a nice guy. I love my colleagues, they are amazingly good people, I love my work station, I love the coffee machine because it serves the best coffee I ever tasted in life, I love it when every one greets in the morning, it just never stops! I love them guys, they are retarded chumps. I love the pantry because I get to eat cookies any time I want.

Well, Adam is my boss. Whenever we address him with "boss", he will reply "It's Adam". And I remember that I bumped into him one time, in an opposite direction, he said "After you, mate". He is so down to earth.

My desk..

To be honest, the first 2 days were rather exhausting. It is simply because I was not ready to be working. And seeing my friends who are already employed and I am financially unstable, I think that I might do something about it. I should! And I did now. The question always remains whether have I made the right decision? Is this how I grow my career? 

New Joiners. 

I do not have the answer now. If it were to be answered hastily, I would be staying here until my probation ends. Or until the end of this year. Then, I will seek for better opportunities afterwards. I know everyone would question the same thing. Why would I quit? All I can say right now is that I do not see it. I could give this workplace, the environment, benefits and everything but I do not see the fact that I am employed here will bring me to the finish line that I have always wanted to achieve. 

My colleagues are nice. I have been working here for 2 weeks and a half now and they have shown me nothing but unwavering friendship. I do not like to get attached to someone because I know that it will somehow affect my decisions once I have decided to look for a better workplace in enhancing my set of skills. If I told this to anyone out there, they would not see the solid reason why I need to reconsider back my decision. All they would suggest is asking me to stay a little bit longer. That is definitely not what I feel right now. I believe only certain people with the same vision as me will see this clearly.

And when they get stressed out over the workloads, they will yell "Rahmat, apa awak buat ni?". I did not do anything though, it is probably just their own dramatic way to get over themselves. They are crazy! I try to remain positive every time. Whatever the situation and circumstances are, I will keep fighting. Until there is nothing left in me, then I will think about the next step I am going to take. Whatever it is, I still go to work as usual. Because in order to have money, one has to work. Hahaha. I do not know when is it going to be my last day but as for now, I do not feel like I should stop working. Let's continue working, make money. 

A place where everyone can have a moment away from work. Its pantry literally has everything. Even the vending machine and it only costs RM1 for all canned drinks. 

But, best things in life are free, right? So, I love the coffee machine. It is amazing to have tasted various types of coffee. I like the taste of Hazelnut by the way. :P

     

An amazing view from the pantry.

I am at a point in my life where I believe that Allah gives me what I need instead of letting me have what I want. So, let the chip fall where it may. If He wants to give what I want in life, sure it will happen. Sooner or later! :)

Till then, 
Assalamualaikum.

Rahmat, 02:02:31 am.

Improvement

Assalamualaikum

Actually I have decided to celebrate the 5th Anniversary of my blog which happens to be on 1st August 2014. The thing that I wanted to do last year but I did not do because maybe I had no enough channels to let my friends know that it has been many years and my blog is still strong. Strongly alive! Since I have an Instagram account so this may be a great channel for me to celebrate my blog as well as to let my new friends know that I am a blogger and writing is one of the things that I really love doing and I am truly passion about.

On every Saturday, I will be posting a print-screened picture or any pictures I have uploaded in this very blog. Since I know there would be no one to read the entry, I will just have to write a little bit of what the entry is all about, what the main gist that I wanted to tell whenever I posted entries etc.

You know, I have selected few of my entries to share on the next Saturdays. As I read back all the entries, actually, I am quite surprised and amazed with my writings. How I have developed my writing skills, how they have evolved, how I have changed as an individual. And honestly I think, my vocab and grammar are getting so much better.

When I started to blog in English, I didn't care what people might say. I just wanted to write and luckily, I knew Mustaain and Anis because they always read books, novels, maybe any English materials. When I read their blogs, I got the adrenaline rush to be one of them. And of course it has been a habit of mine to be a copycat and do whatever they did. So, I started spending many Ringgit to buy novels, I read a lot of books and it brought me the place where I am now. There were times when I asked my friends "What do you think about my English?" They always supported me, always gave me honest opinions. That's what friends do, right? 

As I looked around for entries to share, I read my writings, I realize how big of an impact reading books has made me. Unfortunately for me, I am not be able to write like that anymore. It is just that it has been many years I didn't read English novels, almost 3 years to be exact. Of course, my grammar is getting better because I learn it over time. But my biggest concern is vocabulary, whether I want to improve or is it okay for me to slightly know a small part of English language. And honest to God, I didn't understand some of the words I wrote a few years ago. I need to start fresh la after this. Maybe it has been many years like I said before.

Besides, there are a lot of entries too I really feel like deleting them for good. But I keep saying to myself to let them be, I believe that, that was past of me and it may act as a sense for me to abstain myself from doing or posting ever again like those demonic and maniacal alike entries in the history of blogger.com hahahaha. They say "people grow up" and apparently, I grew up too. 

Live Blogging: 10 months transformation.

Salam.

Live blogging is created by me to let you know that I am updating this blog by using a phone. Not once in my life I updated my blog using a smart phone. Live blogging also indicates short updates, certainly it would keep me posting more entries for my loyal fans. Muahh i love you oll! :)

Short update.

Within these 10 months, I want to achieve few goals.

1. Being able to learn more about Islam and any perspectives related to it.
2. Having a great shape of body. I am getting fat now that is for sure.
3. Being selected into Dean's List section.
4. Celebrating the 5th anniversary of this blog.

I don't know if you notice it or not but 10 months from now is the end of this year. So basically, 2 more semesters for me to bring my A game and put a lot of effort into it. Last semester was like a trial. First time entering into a university and fighting for letting myself to be able to tip toe during the studies. So, starting from this semester onwards, I guess I should know how it will go and how am I going to live as well.

And this year would be the 5th anniversary of my blog. I am glad that this blog runs beautifully. I should tell you now that I had plenty of entries drafted. I have the idea but I guess what makes me keep them from posting is that I hate the writings that I made. It is so lame and can be placed in the trash can immediately.

What about my body? This is really getting out of hand. I should lose weight. About this particular goal, I don't want to talk because I will be updating it every month if I had the time.

Til then, goodbye.

Degree Results 1.0

Salam.

Last few years, I kept posting several entries about my results for diploma final examinations. And hey, what a better idea to keep 'em going for degree as well! Hahaha. Before I let you guys to know my results, I just have one thing to say.

Alhamdulillah. You know what, I feel so grateful for this semester's result. I truly am! Because I did not give it all out when I answered the question papers. I was so afraid of the outcomes. I did realize that once I entered into a university, the pressure was real, the pain was undeniable, being alongside with smart people killed and it forced me to bring my A game every time I had to present myself.

Where did it go? Confidence, I need you.
I used to be talkative in most classes, be known, let everyone fear for my presence. Yes, there were times when,

Lecturer: Miss bagi markah yang highest dulu.
Classmates: Rahmat.. Rahmat.. Rahmat..

I am not saying that I was good back then but that happened. I certainly, cannot expect that would happen again during my degree studies but I kind of hoping, but why? Please let me know the answer.

I scored 4A's, 3B's and a C. 

First, BEL492.
I already knew at the beginning that I would score this subject no matter what. Anyone that knows anything at all about me would know why is this subject easy for me to score. When I heard about this subject, I said to myself "This is your thing! Go for it!". First presentation was good, I managed to get 33/40. When it came to the second one, I thought I did bad. But when my lecturer, Prof Din decided to comment on our performance, how well we did, she asked everyone the same question over and over again. "You think you did better first or second?". Given to understand that I was so anxious on the second assessment, I replied to her, "the first one". "No, you did better on second. You did Short-term Decision Making. Your introduction was good, your points were very good in fact I gave you full marks for your points. Okay, but you can still improve, huh? Don't be too satisfied with that." She certainly meant that my marks were better than first one! I recorded it. I can listen it to you guys if you don't believe me. :P And Alhamdulillah, aced it with an A.

Second, CTU553.
I had so much respect for Prof Asma' Ali. What I love about her was her unwavering relationship. No one could hate this professor. You know, the first class, most of us were so afraid to enter into her classes because she has this undeniable looks that makes you feel like "Okay, don't be mad at me!". Just a moment when she opened her mouth, she was so hilarious. Ya Allah, trust me! We laughed, we talked, we shared our opinions towards religious matters. I mean, what about ethnic relations had nothing to do with religious matters but we were so proud to be taught by her. And it was so special to be able to work and learn so much from her. And please trust me, she was so so so hilarious during our final class. Good sense of humor, I liked it. Thank you, Ustazah for giving me an A and 2 Cloudnines, you always made your classes so much fun.

Third, PSA420.
Madam Razinah oh Madam Razinah. The best public sector accounting lecturer ever. She made me love to score my paper. The way she taught was absolutely simple, and working. We even got to finish all the syllabus earlier that what had stated in the course outline and we actually got what she taught. Make no mistakes about it, she taught us on her terms. She knew what she was doing. You know, there were 3 classes combined for her class, the best thing was when were trying to get noisy, she regularly said "Okay, diam sekejap" and it went that way for several time, for a while. She said the words then she laughed. How were we supposed to diam when she laughed? Hahahaha. Thank you for an A as well, madam. I love public sector accounting now because of you. You made it simple. Thank you! :)

Fourth, MGT543.
Dr. Pau, one of my personal favorites lecturers. She assigned our teams/group members, and because of that I was be able to know a lot of people from different classes. Lucky me, I was paired with two girls who were not from my class. I tell you something, if she had us to choose our own team members, I would have never got the chance to know and work with different people with different backgrounds. It was awkward at the beginning but we managed to get through all the assessments well. To be honest, since I was working with the girls, I had gone to Kolej Melati (girls' hostel) to discuss our project together for quite sometimes. About the class, it was like diploma years all over again. If you came late to the class, you were going to entertain all the classmates. You would have to sing, act and story tell if that is okay. Anything, as long as it is entertaining. Seorang tak datang, satu kumpulan kena. I was once coming late and I did not want to sing, nooo, oh hell noooo! I told them few stories of mine and they enjoyed it. Only that matters to me. Thank you, Dr Pau for forcing us, challenging us to adapt with new friends, environment and giving me an A.

I think that's enough. I used to update my results only and not to brag about these things. Hahahahaha. Whatever it is, I am so thankful for the result that I had. It made me realize how to prove and mend myself next time. About my pointer, I must say that it is a good start for my degree. I hope to have more for upcoming semesters. Doa aku Allah selalu dengar, itu yang rasa macam nak nangis itu. Alhamdulillah for the result. Semoga terus sukses pada masa akan datang.

Berpuasa Nazar, hari pertama.

Ladi dadi daaa.

Salam.

This year would be the 5th year of my blog. Nothing new, pretty much the same. 

I will try hard to keep it updated. 
*I HATE EVERY WORD IN ABOVE SENTENCE*

I have changed my blog's layout. It was funny because at first, I thought maybe I should let my blog the way it was before but these two hands just could not stand it. It is good, and you know what they say? New is always better. Oh what the hell? Layout je pun.

I will update soon. I "promise".

Random Rant

#nowplaying The One by Backstreet Boys.
Blogging mood : Terrific! :)

Assalamualaikum.

If you noticed my previous post, I put a picture and I guess you may know what and how big of an impact that drama had influenced us, especially those who loved F4.

It started when there were claims confirming that Meteor Shower was going to star in our sky. To be honest, I was one of the people who wanted to see it. I went outside of my house, waited for a few minutes and it got really scary, I got chills so I went back inside. Basically, I just read those updates on Twitter. Still nothing big happened, it was not published in the newspaper or any electronic devices so I want to have my few minutes back. Why? Because I was bitten by the mosquitoes and I was scared (though I made it so) looking at the sky.

Okay, now back to the reason why I uploaded the picture at the first place. As I mentioned before, it all started with these meteor shower claims. Then just the day after, I came to notice that I had a complete set of season 1 and season 2 of Meteor Garden. I remember in the year of 2002, my sister had to pay a lot of money buying these 2 seasons. I just thought that I should watch it again, you know just for pleasuring myself since I am about to continue my studies after this, 15 days away!

The main point I am blogging right now is not to blab about the drama. If you miss the story and casts especially the boys, I would lend you.

Then I google-d to know the "progeny" of their careers now. Then, there was a link addressing me to their reunion early this year, to be more specific, Chinese New Year celebration. It tore me up to see they united after all these years pursuing their own interests. 

I may not have a firm grasp on sensing the perfect bonding of a relationship among friends but when I watched the video, I had this one feeling, a feeling I could not describe. All I know is why can't I ever have to feel it? 

Ah! mengada lah pulak aku ini.

I strongly recommend you guys to watch it. Just for fun, dwelling back on our past memories. But please do not get carried away like me. Muahaha..

I just want to express my opinion about friendship. Given to observe theirs makes me want to make a good call about friendship soon. All you have to do is waiting for the next post to come. 

Owh! you know what they say, Imma give ya real good!

And I thought of selecting Mandarin as third language subject in my degree studies. What do you think about it? The truth is I want to choose other language i.e Arab, Korean, French etc instead of Mandarin but I guess there is no room since we live in Malaysia and I know it is not a must but somehow I feel like I am obligated to take it. It is okay, nothing to lose!

2013 F4's reunion.

I think I have a problem scaling the size of the pictures. Maybe because I haven't been blogging for a quite long time. And my writing, I should develop its skill. It takes time, InsyaAllah I'll improve my writing. Well, I am a novice blogger to say the least. :P

See you soon! Salam.
0628 a.m. :)

Ahoy!

I had a fine conversation with my niece just now.
"Nak masuk belajar dah ke, Paksu? Mesti boring kan? Hahahaha"

I replied 
"Nak masuk sekolah kan esok? Mesti seronok kan? Hahahahahahahahaha"

You know what they say, "you get what you give".

Hi, everyone! Assalamualaikum.

Since I have nothing to update, LET'S ASSUME someone will read this post and suggest me good topics so that I can discuss/blab them with you guys and I tell you it should be good topics otherwise I won't do it. And I have to tell you how much I miss blogging. I didn't blog because I had no interesting topics. Even though I should have many like my amazing life, beautiful rides, my diploma studies et cetera. There were some reasons why I couldn't get it posted i.e. I had no photographs to make them valuable and much more fascinating.

One of the main reasons was it really has been a while I didn't read English books, journals, articles, novels so it's a little bit hard for me to write. InsyaAllah I'll try my best to make this blog a new and improved one!

And I have a great thing to share. Wait for it! Here's the clue.

Got it? :)

#PrayForEgypt
Salam.

Bermimpi

First and for most. :) Salam.

I am currently on diet, the same, exact thing I'll be doing for every semester break.

Before I get started, it seems to me that I have to tell you guys something regarding "to". Okay, here goes nothing. After using "to", you have to put the root words, basically. Yes, if you are using right sentences, you can use regardless of "-ing". For example, "I want to eat". It's correct. There's no chance of saying "I want to eating"! And  if you're smart to use "to", you'd get to differ when and how to use it. Example, "I'd kill when it comes to eating". See the difference? If you do, you're good!

Back to my story.

Alhamdulillah. I think the cat is out of the bag. Yes, I have been officially promoted to the Dean's list section.

 I have waited for so long to be on the list at least once. I keep praying and praying and now the time has come. After 5 semesters of hardworking and effort, Alhamdulillah, Allah listened to my doa and granted it. I keep praying five time a day so that I can convey my wishes to Allah. After that, I let Allah do the rest.

One of my goals in life is that I really want make my family proud. And if I can get that, a big part of my life is already a success.

Talk about this, I have always been fascinated to grab the Dean's list. It is a lie if anyone says that they never have wanted it. To make it short, I am glad to have it and I will try harder for the upcoming semester. Alhamdulillah again, this is going to be my last semester. I hope everything is shifting on the right track.

Bermimpi...

I don't know how to express my feelings then without any warning, I personally believe that blog is the best place.

I don't like to grieve myself but I should probably start dreaming the impossibilities. Maybe it will turn out to be reality. As what I have storied above, I know it was impossible for me to grab the Dean's but what the hell? I got it with tons of prayers. Allah listens, trust me! *I know I shouldn't put what the hell over there at the first place.*

So, there are impossible things I have been dreaming lately.

First, I have sent an instant message to Miss Sarah to convince her to remain me in the same class. I also had mentioned that it is not my intention to sure that I will be in Section 1 because the result that I got blaaa.. blaaa.. blaaa.. but at some point, you just have got to go and state what you want if you see it best for your own and future. And lucky me, she seems to give me a green light. Now, my time to convey this wish to Allah.

The main reason, no others as big as this reason is because I hate competitive class. I know you guys may think that competition is good whatsoever but I really am comfortable now to stay in this class. 

She also replied "InsyaAllah, I tak tukar". yahooooooo!

So, I hope it is a success.

Second, this is a larger than life of big impossible too. I plan to go to Australia or UK to continue my studies after I complete my diploma. I told my mother about this, since having a scholarship is a big NO for me. At least you need to score CGPA of 3.4 but it seems to me that I have a slight problem of it. What to do? I suggested to apply for loan like I did for diploma. They (my family) seem okay about it.

Then I came across of thinking that it may cost a lot of money.

They told me "Duit boleh cari. Kau belajar saja". I bawled my eyes out!

They made me strength to go abroad by saying that they cannot send me but will be there when I am about to graduate etc. You know what? That makes me so excited to study abroad. But you know they say that every cloud has a silver lining. And if it is not happening, then I should not give up and continue here in Malaysia. 

Plus, it is not easy. The procedures, examinations must be tough. Like I said, I dream the impossibilities. If it happens, I will go for it. 

By the way, I got the Dean's List by a tiny margin. That is why I don't want it to be exposed to everybody. I know somehow, somewhere, someone MIGHT say this "Alaaaaaaaa, maybe it was a fluke he got the Dean's". Well, I talk and they talk. I do not know, maybe.

Okay, I think it is enough. Till then, Assalamualaikum. See you soon...

P/S : And Siti Aisyah Zainal, please remind me to belanja you anything you want at Komasa. I already made a promise to myself if I get an A for BEL313, I need to belanja you since you helped me printing the articles. You remember, don't you?