Drafted Post v1: Reuniting w Irfan Roslee

Drafted Post v1: Reuniting with Irfan Roslee after a few years of absence from my extremely good life.

*posting entries in my draft folder* 

"Assalamualaikum

First entry of 2015, yay!

It really has been one year. But it doesn't matter anyway cause I am not a famous blogger. You know, it takes a lot of time updating a blog. See, it literally took me a year.

June, the 5th month of internship. I don't want to talk about this. Internship is just amazing to say the least! 

I received text messages from my long lost friend and we decided to meet one another after a few years of disappearance. We've gone through some stuffs which I'm not particularly proud of. I know those things are a part of growing up process and that's perfectly fine for me. I have missed him, no BS! Last few years, he was one of my best friends. He really helped me in everything, he supported everything I decided to do. He was no judge. Those things made me feel extremely comfortable to befriend with him. He was also one of the guys, those who were important to me.

A month ago, we planned to meet. I was afraid at first because I haven't met him in 3 years. Afraid is really not a suitable word so I would say nervous. I was so nervous because things may not work like they used to 3 years ago. We were really close, everything we did was parallel since the first time I knew him in 2006. I knew the best of him and what I did, he did the same thing too! Like, I used to imagine I performed in front of the crowd whenever I listened to a song and he did that too! Hahaha.. And even when we met last month, we were talking about this and we both laughed our asses off.

I was getting nervous for no reason. He hasn't changed a bit. It amazed me greatly when we could laugh and talk in no time. What can I say about him is that he is real, he is being himself. It is good for us though, because he did say to me on several occasions that I was his best friend before this. I felt the same way too but biasalah dulu too young too dumb to realize! Hahahaha. And even now I still consider him my best friend. I do not know what about him but I get comfortable easily when we hang out."

I didn't get to finish this post but I do have one of my entries which I believe to be almost exactly the same like this. Alhamdulilllah, Irfan kembali sudah dipangkuanku. Xoxo

Rahmat, 3/12/2019.

Struggling Muslim?

How do you make yourself a better Muslim?

I have read a tweet from this fellow friend of mine, saying that one of his friends pointed out that he’s doing great in life and so. With all of the things that he has, how is his relationship with Allah? That’s kind of a slap in his face because he knew that this whole thing about relationship with Allah is the one that seems to be lacking.

It took me a moment to read the replies to his tweet. I was quite befuddled. 

But, sure thing that there are ways for us to fix our relationship with God. What if I say that I’m feeling my faith is extremely tested right now? I’m not like Rahmat I was a few years ago.

As this fellow’s current state, I would like to foreground that friends play an important role in shaping faith and strengthen our bond with Allah.

I’m 26 now, and I apologise if my friends ever read this but I don’t have any friends at all that ever come to me and exhort, point out all the wrongs that I did on daily basis. 

I have become recklessly thoughtless. I did and said things without thinking like a Muslim. To be honest, I have had enough of using this whole “I’m a struggling Muslim” as an excuse, trying to get some of green lights as a pass for me to still commit sins. 

Listen, guys. If you have friends in your life that remind you to get close to Allah, consider yourself lucky. Very lucky..

Because I fought alone, and I may have failed. 

But, I won’t stop, because Allah says in the Quran..

“My mercy is bigger than your sins”

19/03, 2:30 am.

Biarlah Jadi Rahsia Aku dan Allah

 What I can tell you guys is there are a few of my good friends were approaching me last week asking for prayers on behalf. I have always liked the idea how you really want something out of life and find your closest friends to help you out. You believe in the power of Allah, you know He is going to make it easy and provide a way out for you. But, you need other individuals to make a doa for you as well. People that you can trust and that you know will try their best to help you out. I call it double effort! :D

I was approached by 2 of my buddies a couple of days ago. One, asking for doa and advises on relationship. Another one, asking for doa in need to strengthen his iman.

I never failed to make doas for many of my closest friends to the extent I realise that I forgot about my own family. If they came to the point in a conversation where they said “Mat, nanti kau solat. Doakan pasal aku jugak”

I was like, “Wallahi, nama kau selalu aku sebut dalam doa aku”

Boys, in the name of Allah. You don’t have to ask me to make a doa for you. If you had shared you problems with me, I feel obligated to make one for you. That’s just me. 

I wish I could just tell you guys “Bro, chill. I had and will always pray for you”

And don’t tell me prayers didn’t work. Let me share with you a story. One of the mentioned boys above texted me and asked about Solat Dhuha and I shared everything that I know about the prayer. I started to ask him what is it about this that you really wanted to know about Dhuha? Then, we got to discuss our shortcomings about the importance of Salah.

I know him so well! We grew up together, we literally spent most of our youth time hanging out, playing together. We did come to a point when things were difficult for us to grasp. We had our own easy and hard time to embrace life, we didn’t even cross paths for years to be completely honest.

We decided to meet after almost 3 years. Alhamdulillah, there’s nothing bigger than His blessing. The crazy thing about it is we clicked! It felt like it was yesterday since the last time we ever bumped into each other. 

Since it’s been awhile, of course some changes of the way he reacted I started to notice. You know, what he used to do, what he never did, or what he did when I was away from his life. 

But, I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. We’re all adults now. 

Honest to Allah, aku berdoa. And I’d always pray to Allah so that you would perform your prayers. When he asked me “Kau nanti solat, doakan untuk aku sekali, Mat”. 

It took me a few minutes to reply. I wanted to say to him that “Yes, I mention your name whenever I make a doa after salah so that you perform your prayers”

But, I don’t want to. I’m afraid it will lose its meaning. Allah listens to my prayers and for that, it has become one of the biggest blessings I have ever gotten in mu life.  

I thank Allah for this. Don’t tell me prayers didn’t work. It’s just a matter of time that He sends His revelation and mercy to His servants. 

Biarlah jadi rahsia aku dengan Allah.

Seoul, South Korea (03/09/17-09/09/17) - Full Itinerary & Bajet

Many have requested full itinerary untuk travel solo aku ke Seoul. If you guys have questions about the accomodation, total expenses etc, I will just include everything here. Aku stay in Itaewon and for Muslims, this is a decent place because it's located near to the Seoul Central Mosque it’s easy and convenient to find halal food. Since, I was going alone so aku rasa it’s better to just share a room with another 8 guys. I chose Itaewon Inn as my stay because it’s quite near to the mosque so that easy untuk perform prayers and it’s cheap too! :P

Kat bawah ni, aku share main attractions/places dengan bajet that I spent for the whole week.

Ahad – 03 September 2017
Check in @ Itaewon Inn for 7d6n - 74,000 Won (~RM275)
T Money Card (Subway) – 30,000 Won
Dinner – 18,000 Won
Indo Mee (10 packets) – 5,000 Won

Isnin – 04 September 2017
1. Gyeongbokgung Palace:
Entrance: 3,000 Won
Hours: 9 am – 6 pm from Wednesday – Monday, closed on Tuesdays
How to get there: Take the Subway to Gyeongbokgung Station and Exit #5.

2. Bukchon Hanok Village
Entrance: Free
Hours: Anywhere from 10 am until about 6 pm
How to get there: You can either walk from the palace or take the subway to Anguk Station and Exit #1 or #2 – then walk 5 minutes north.

Other expenses:
Sebiji epal merah – 1,200 Won
Turkish Kebab – 7,900 Won

Selasa – 05 September 2017
Korea Everland Theme Park (the largest theme park in Korea with over 40 rides and attractions)
Entrance: 34,000 Won (~RM130)
Hours: 10 am – 9 pm
How to get there: Take the Subway to Gangnam Station and Exit #6 or #7. Walk straight and find the bus station in the middle of the road that has number 5002, take the bus 5002 to Jondae Everland Station and take a free shuttle bus to Everland.

I’d suggest that you buy the ticket online as it’s cheaper because if you decide to buy it at Everland Theme Park, it will cost you around 54,000 Won (~RM200)
Here’s the link to buy it online https://www.kkday.com/en/product/2914
One of the most popular rides at Everland is T Express, the third tallest roller coaster in the world with speed 104km/h. Kena cuba yang ni, sumpah best! Haha

Other Expense:
Turkish Kebab – 8,900 Won

Rabu – 06 September 2017
1. N Seoul Tower, Namsan Mountain (Famous to go to the tower and lock a padlock from the fence as a symbol of love)
Hours: 10 am – 10:30 pm
How to get there: Take the Subway to Myeongdong Station and Exit #1, walk straight up the hill around 10 minutes and find the cable car station.

2. Myeongdong Street
It’s a perfect time to spend your day in the evening after a trip to Namsan Tour because these two places are close to one another. If you love to shop, spending time in Myeongdong will be one of one of your favourite things to do in Seoul.
Entrance: Free
Hours: Many of the businesses are open from 11 am – 10 pm but things are most busy in the later afternoon and evening
How to get there: Take the Subway to Myeongdong Station.

Other Expenses:
Namsan Cable Car for return: 8,500 Won
Padlock & pen: 5,500 Won
Socks: 5,000 Won
Dinner: 11,000 Won
Turkish Icecream: 3,500 Won

Khamis – 07 September 2017
1. Nami Island (Winter Sonata, the 2002 Korean drama was filmed on Nami Island)
Hours: 7.30 am – 9.45 pm
How to get there: Take the Subway to Gapyeong Station, take the shuttle bus to Nami Island.

2. Ewha Womans University
Entrance: Free
Hours: Anytime
How to get there: Take the Subway to Ewha Womans University Station and Exit #3.

3. Hongdae Street Performance
Hongdae is brimming with the young, artistic, and creative who flock there because of the local art focused university, Hongik University. And what happens when a large concentration of talents get together? Well obviously street performances!
Entrance: Free, donations accepted!
Hours: Preferably in evening, Almost every night (year round), But Friday-Saturday nights are best!
How to get there: Take the Subway to Hongik University Station and Exit #8 or #9.

Other expenses:
Shuttle Bus to Nami Island – return: 6,000 Won (keep the ticket)
Ice-cream: 2,000 Won
Drink – milk: 1,300 Won
Dinner: 15,000 Won

Jumaat - 08 September 2017
1. Han/Hangang River
The Han River is one of Korea’s largest, and it goes right through the center of Seoul. You can walk along the river or rent a bike for 3,000 Won per hour (optional)

2. Cheonggyecheon Stream
Entrance: Free
Hours: Throughout the day
How to get there: You can walk there form a number of subway stations, it starts at City Hall Station

Other expenses:
Lunch: 10,000 Won
Dinner: 10,000 Won

Sabtu - 09 September 2017
Check out, take the Subway to Incheon Airport Station and go back home, Malaysia.

Overall budget: 
Around 255,000 Won – 260,000 Won
Malaysian Ringgit equals to RM950.00 (without return flight tickets)

I didn’t include the flight tickets because the price varies. If you could secure best price during promotion, it would be great. I bought the ticket on November 2016, it’s RM668 Air Asia return ticket which was quite a good deal! You can get cheaper than that, for sure!

I saved a lot jugak actually sebab masak je kat sana. Itaewon Inn tu ada tempat untuk masak so tak masak untuk breakfast, aku masak for dinner. Indo Mee jela pun sebab nak jimat kan? Hahaha. 

Here's the link to my facebook post for the video I made during my stay in Seoul.

Solo Trip: Seoul

Not Like Everyone Else

I regret the things that I'm not used to.

I don't know the reason why I'm not like everyone else. But, that's me. I don't feel sorry for the past incidents that have occured in my life. I did feel sort of regretting because they happened but there's nothing I can do now to back them up. 

Things I have missed out, things I have done, things I should have said  and things that I should have done.

I'm afraid to express my love for someone. I know I should have said it if the feelings are real. But, that's not me. And my heart keeps saying...

"...I wish you were not leaving because I love you.."

Funny how things work out now.

And I'm sorry if anyone ever wanted me to express things that they thought of deserving to hear. I never told anyone about this but there were times when I tried to be expressive about feelings and it turned me down real good. I got escalated very quickly and made a promise to never or be wary of what I'm about to tell how I'm feeling about them. You know, just to protect my heart as well as theirs.

I'm only highlighting about love because I know this is my greatest fear when it comes to involving feelings. 

It'd Kill

Have you ever felt like every thing that you do will never be enough to get recognition but when someone else does it, they get it just the way you do as well?

I know it's a long question but well. We all have gone through a phase when we wanted to be recognized, to be mentioned. Because we believe we deserved it more than any one else. 

Two important things, folks! Maybe what we did is never enough. We should penetrate situations and conditions deeper to be seen by the respective parties. You know boss, friends, lovers or whatever you want to get recognition or attention from. Or maybe, (just maybe) they never care about you. You are like disposal tissues, wipe and need to be thrown away immediately hahahaha. You need to evaluate where you stand.

Second, just don't think about pleasing people at all. You know if you have had it enough before this, why should you try even harder? You will end up feel the way you felt before. So, just stop. You're hurting yourself. You don't deserve that, no one in the world deserves that. You shouldn't feel sad for not getting recognition, you know. I can guarantee you that there are people out there who love you even if you're not pleasing them. 

Just stop! Stop hurting yourself, stop feeling bad for not trying hard. Stop pleasing people. Appreciate them, not please. They are two different things, bringing almost the same meaning. But, different. 

Talking from my experience? Yes, and it's still something that I'm struggling with. 

"Dah tu apa pasal nak nasihat orang?" Eh sebok la kaw! Blog aku, suka aku lah.

A Blessed Life

There are many things that I should be grateful to have these days. I keep looking up to my friends and say that they are so blessed with everything that Allah has showered, you know. But, one thing I failed to realize is that what I have gotten in life. I failed to realize what I have been through, what I have been given and what I have been blessed with.

One thing that I'm so grateful is that now I'm living a good life. I have always loved listening to working people saying " Mewah la gaji aku untuk orang bujang" when I was still a student. You know, how great it would be to have money. It's not only about the money that we have but the stability is what we need. I still remember it clearly, I once asked my lecturer about his pay and he said it is more than enough for a single to live a life.

Well, now I'm living it! And, it's totally worth the time I spent working as an accounts assistant and a part-time tutor that I could save hundreds per month.

#kiramewahlahuntukorangbujang