So That You Will Know Me

Sometimes one might wonders why I'm acting like such a complete idiot that deserves to be slapped. I have heard some people said to me that I'm not good to be friend with. Ohh! Please, I heard it all. I seem don't bother with it since I knew that I'm not that type of human beings.

Jealousy.

See, the thing is you have absolutely nothing to do with me and that's why you keep making up stories and taking me as a subject like 24/7.

On the other side, most people have their own jealousy. Jealousy can be divided in 2 as in good ways or bad ways. I don't think I really want to explain it consider that we already grown up and know how to shave! Jealousy in bad ways such unpleasant at certain people's accomplishments otherwise it's you who never made an effort for achieving the gold.

I'm not the type of person who wants something badly and comes to the point of fighting or arguing. It's not me at all. But, if I apply that in my life, that means something's bothering me. Everybody that closes to me knows who is exactly I am.

What I do not like the most is when I had to fight against me, inside of me. My gizzard apparently threatening me with crap things. I really need the old me.

It's very barbaric for me to keep using vulgarities to say to myself.

But, I know that as a human, we need to face the tests that has been written for us.

And one more thing, we shouldn't be annoyed with the surroundings that surrounded us because we actually need to be thankful on what we have still seen, heard and talked about. It makes us feel more alive.

Dwelling in the past just makes you dream for anything that won't be sure will come to you.

Laughing so hard.

For knowing someone is really easy if you have a lot of commons with. You make a good joke and laugh together is one of it. That's the good combination though. Considering that laugh is the best thing to cure one's heart.

The other way round is the way not a very well combination when someone makes jokes to you and yet you didn't laugh.

" In case you did not notice, I'm not laughing ".
" You did notice I'm laughing is all the matters ".

The intonation goes like this.

" Kau ada nampak aku gelak ke? "
" Kau nampak aku gelak dah lah "

What the heck? I beg you to differ them.

Is that a real combination or just a plain sad really? For me, I see no combination. It happens when one of you had been so unreal. Even you have known each other for quite sometimes. But hey, it didn't work and it's so loser.

I'm here not just to share but what I told you is the reality in it. You invite your gf/bf to your house, introduce to your mom and plan to make a chocolate cake. It's so boringgg.

The head of this entry is if you're making jokes and I'm not laughing it means you're insulting me in what kind of ways I don't know. You have to know the different between make joke and make fun of people. It's a thin line between them.

If I'm laughing or always asking for you opinions,helps or whatsoever, it means I'm comfortable with you. Stay by my side so that you will know me.

P/S : I was so close to visit Din's grave but I didn't make it. But insyaAllah I'll go there if I have time.

Din, I forgive on everything that you've done. But, I don't think you have made any mistake towards me. You're a great guy, you know that. Adi and you always made people's laugh. I've heard the way you embraced sakaratul maut. Aku pun akan lalui juga ,Din. Aku akan doakan kau.

Al- Fatihah.
Muhammad Saifuddin Malik ( 1992 - 2010 ).
R.I.P